I realized something after a girl I was dating recently broke up with me. So many times when something unfortunate happens, you get everyone coming at you with Hallmark card excerpts and fucking ill-timed nuggets of wisdom.
Examples:
(You got fired/laid off) - "It's their loss."
(Someone dumps you) - "People come into our lives for a reason."
(Your dog eats your homework...again) - "Don't shoot him in the head. Patience is a virtue."
(Someone hurts your feelings) - "Pain helps us grow."
(You are working a sales job on commission and have no sales at the end of the day) - "Ying and yang, man."
No! What is needed in these times is a bowl of ice cream with caramel sauce and oral sex with no expectation of reciprocity. At the same time that is......
Monday, November 28, 2011
Blogservations....On Movies
In movies, its funny how puke is almost always white. People must eat a lot of bread, milk, ice cream, tres leches, goat cheese, whip cream etc. Probably some dick sucking going on as well.....
If there is puke on the screen, and it is white, from now on- assume its seamen.
Not seamen from the sea, but seamen from a penis.
Not seamen from the sea, but seamen from a penis.
Deep Thoughts.......On Animal Cruelty
Eating a salad is like a goat eating grass. If the dressing makes it taste better, can't we put dressing on grass to get them to eat more instead of fattening them up with drugs, force feeding and other "inhumane" treatments?
Why stop there ... adding dressing to the grass... why not feed the goats, cattle, etc. humans. Lets role reversal this shit, get really inhumane. You know, fuck it, lets get this party started, this wild animal eating domesticated human party. How crazy would that be, you are sitting there reading the daily and there is a spot on how pigs get to eat a prime grade Harvard graduated lawyer, who makes six figures. Animal Farm 2 anyone???
The one thing the human race will have to be careful about is spoiling our cattle. I mean, there's always the danger that after a taste of Kraft's Low-fat Thousand Island dressing, the cattle might want some shredded cheese, a few croutons, maybe hard boiled egg slices.
Why stop there ... adding dressing to the grass... why not feed the goats, cattle, etc. humans. Lets role reversal this shit, get really inhumane. You know, fuck it, lets get this party started, this wild animal eating domesticated human party. How crazy would that be, you are sitting there reading the daily and there is a spot on how pigs get to eat a prime grade Harvard graduated lawyer, who makes six figures. Animal Farm 2 anyone???
The one thing the human race will have to be careful about is spoiling our cattle. I mean, there's always the danger that after a taste of Kraft's Low-fat Thousand Island dressing, the cattle might want some shredded cheese, a few croutons, maybe hard boiled egg slices.
Another Conversation Overheard..... (Pregant Woman Sex)
The following conversation took place at a museum between two twenty year old something dudes.
Dave: Wow!
Alex: What?
Dave: Look at her she's so fucking hot!
Alex: Oh yeah, I see her.
Dave: God! Look at her...it's like she's glowing.
Alex: Yeah...she...oh look she's pregnant.
They fall silent for a while and just check out the chick.
Dave: So I was thinking like...if I was making out with her....and I licked her stomach. Would that make me a pedophile?
Alex: Well that's definitely a threesome. The only difference is one of the participants does not withdraw voluntarily from the coochie.
Dave: Alex are you talking about the baby as a participant?
Alex: Wait...aren't you...
Dave: You sick fuck, let's go look at the Impressionists, Monet is down this hall...
Dave: Wow!
Alex: What?
Dave: Look at her she's so fucking hot!
Alex: Oh yeah, I see her.
Dave: God! Look at her...it's like she's glowing.
Alex: Yeah...she...oh look she's pregnant.
They fall silent for a while and just check out the chick.
Dave: So I was thinking like...if I was making out with her....and I licked her stomach. Would that make me a pedophile?
Alex: Well that's definitely a threesome. The only difference is one of the participants does not withdraw voluntarily from the coochie.
Dave: Alex are you talking about the baby as a participant?
Alex: Wait...aren't you...
Dave: You sick fuck, let's go look at the Impressionists, Monet is down this hall...
People are sick- we are only reporting what has been said.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Live From Darryl's House
This is a website/you-tube channel I can watch for hours. If you truly like live music, check this out. It's Darryl Hall from Hall and Oates collaborating with all types of musicians at his house!
Check him out rocking with Meyer Hawthorne...and many more...
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tyler the Creator
Apparently I am late to this 19 year Californian with suicide angst...but...fuck it... dude is dope...
He reminds me of an evil Cool Kid with Gravediggaz/rza-esque beats...with an Aesop rock flow and a full- on-of hate Eminem lyrics....grimey!
"I'm not a fucking role model (I know this)
I'm a 19 year old fucking emotional coaster with pipe dreams
Since Kanye tweeted telling people he's bumping all of my shit
These mothafuckas think I'm 'sposed to live up to something? Shit"
He says that in his raps that this is fiction but when you listen you can hear the friction and emotion of a 19 year old who lets his demons bear and claw out.
I am digging it when in his videos his eyes are rolled back into his face!
He reminds me of an evil Cool Kid with Gravediggaz/rza-esque beats...with an Aesop rock flow and a full- on-of hate Eminem lyrics....grimey!
"I'm not a fucking role model (I know this)
I'm a 19 year old fucking emotional coaster with pipe dreams
Since Kanye tweeted telling people he's bumping all of my shit
These mothafuckas think I'm 'sposed to live up to something? Shit"
He says that in his raps that this is fiction but when you listen you can hear the friction and emotion of a 19 year old who lets his demons bear and claw out.
I am digging it when in his videos his eyes are rolled back into his face!
One Off: Gross Magic - Yesterdays
Gross Magic is the work of Brighton-ian chap Sam McGarrigle. It's like a
grunged-out take on Salem.
GROSS MAGIC - Yesterdays by TheArtOf...
One Off: Little Dragon - Little Man (Tycho remix)
Tycho brings his driving airy electro-shtick to the plate with this remix of
a Little Dragon track. Granted the floaty guitar work and expansive synths
are all reason to get carried away, the real treat here is Yukimi Nagano's voice
sitting in this lush sound bed. Her voice has quickly become a major cause of
premature ejaculation.
Oops!
One Off: Nicholas Jaar - Don't Break My Love
From his new EP of the same name, Nicholas Jaar drops this delicate dubstep
piece which morphs into chipmunk trap soul at the end of the track. As bouncy
as it is the whole thing is as flimsy as a spider web threatening to collapse under
the slightest weight. But no, it holds up.
Uh can dude slide Drake a few tracks?
Nicolas Jaar / Don't Break My Love by Clown & Sunset
One Off: Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Thuggin'
Freddie Gibbs and Madlib working together! Time for hip-hop heads to bust a nut.
Madlib with his dusty beats and Gangsta Gibbs with his impeccable flow make
a good tag team on this cut taken from the EP of the same name. The EP was
created exclusively for the Medicine Show Tour 2011.
Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Thuggin' by Rappcats
It is your job to lose...
I want to tell this to a girl that I just meet. I mean not initially, I want to be proper...
"Hi, how are you?"
Then have the back and forth of small talk, she asks me question - i ask her...etc...
Then lead into "This is your job to lose, as far as I see it you are hired"
If she answers this innuendo with I accept, well then , I might have found THE ONE.
Then lead into "This is your job to lose, as far as I see it you are hired"
If she answers this innuendo with I accept, well then , I might have found THE ONE.
Monday, November 21, 2011
In The Mix: Skrillex's BBC Radio 1 Mix
Ever seen a mosh pit full of baby shampoo bubbles? Well that must
be what is going on in Skrillex's head which currently is one of the
world's top ten acid trip destinations.
This bass slavin' mofo recently dropped off a mix off at BBC Radio 1
with Zane Lowe. In layman's terms, here's twenty minutes of an incentive
to sprain your neck muscles. Maybe if you want to be extra fly, you could
pop a collar.....bone.
Skrillex in Session - BBC Radio 1 Mix - Zane Lowe 16/11/2011 by Skrillex Radio Show
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Whole Thang: The Stuysevants - The Finer Things Vol.1 & 2
Music producer Allan Cole (Algorythm), and record collector Darien Victor Birks (Flwrpt) come together to form the Stuysevant. Surprise, they are from Bedford-Stuysevant. These dudes obviously have been crate-digging and churned out this Pocahantas-ass smooth two-headed compilation of soulful beat-treats for your doggy ears.
The Finer Things Vol. 1 by Algorythm
The Finer Things Vol. 2 by Algorythm
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