I realized something after a girl I was dating recently broke up with me. So many times when something unfortunate happens, you get everyone coming at you with Hallmark card excerpts and fucking ill-timed nuggets of wisdom.
Examples:
(You got fired/laid off) - "It's their loss."
(Someone dumps you) - "People come into our lives for a reason."
(Your dog eats your homework...again) - "Don't shoot him in the head. Patience is a virtue."
(Someone hurts your feelings) - "Pain helps us grow."
(You are working a sales job on commission and have no sales at the end of the day) - "Ying and yang, man."
No! What is needed in these times is a bowl of ice cream with caramel sauce and oral sex with no expectation of reciprocity. At the same time that is......
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