Blogservations....On Comforting

I realized something after a girl I was dating recently broke up with me. So many times when something unfortunate happens, you get everyone coming at you with Hallmark card excerpts and fucking ill-timed nuggets of wisdom.

Examples:

(You got fired/laid off) - "It's their loss."
(Someone dumps you) - "People come into our lives for a reason."
(Your dog eats your homework...again) - "Don't shoot him in the head. Patience is a virtue."
(Someone hurts your feelings) - "Pain helps us grow."
(You are working a sales job on commission and have no sales at the end of the day) - "Ying and yang, man."

No! What is needed in these times is a bowl of ice cream with caramel sauce and oral sex with no expectation of reciprocity. At the same time that is......

Blogservations....On Movies

In movies, its funny how puke is almost always white. People must eat a lot of bread, milk, ice cream, tres leches, goat cheese, whip cream etc. Probably some dick sucking going on as well.....

If there is puke on the screen, and it is white, from now on- assume its seamen.
Not seamen from the sea, but seamen from a penis.